Week One

Every week for the first few months of my transition, I want to document some changes in my blog. I think the first few months is when the most changes are going to happen so I figured it would be ideal if I documented as often as possible.

For the first week, I have experienced emotional and mental changes more than anything. The most noticeable is my mood. Before starting my transition, my moods were everywhere. I had unmanageable anger issues. My mood would be good one minute and I would be angry the next. Then my anger would linger on for hours and I could never seem to calm myself down. Most of the time, I would just lock myself in my room and fall asleep. It was so bad that it started to take a toll on my relationship with my family, especially my wife. I’m so happy and relieved to say that now my mood has been great! I feel great. I’m happy and excited all the time. If something does happen to make me upset (like stupid drivers on the highway), I’m able to get over it so quickly!

I’ll tell you a short story about my almost nonexistent road rage that used to be my uncontrollable road rage.

A few mornings ago on our way home from work I was driving in the left doing almost 80. There was a truck behind me that stayed a pretty good distance away for a while. Then all of a sudden he sped up and was almost smelling our asses. Usually this makes me so angry that I will speed up to about 90 then slow down purposely to about 65. But I kept my cool right at 78 because I was passing another car. But when we passed this other car, this idiot behind me decides to cut me off within inches in front of us! I said “oooooh you mother f*cker!” And then I sure did speed up and start flashing him. Little did I know, he had a BRIGHT ASS WHITE LIGHT on his back windshield! So he started flashing me back and this started a bright light WAR! FOR ABOUT 3 MORE MILES! By the end of this charade I was LIVID! And believe me, this anger would have lasted all damn day and my poor wife would have had no idea what was going on because she was asleep through the whole thing. But 5 minutes later when we drove up to our house, I was crying tears of laughter! Literally! I was cracking the hell up! Like WTF! Who has a bright light on their back windshield? Now I know why he started his silly games, he wanted me to flash him so we could engage in bright light warfare! I thought this was freaking hilarious! But before? Shit, I would have brought the sun down from the sky and lit everyone’s ass on fire. For real. I’m telling you…my mood is great now!

So overall, all I can say about my experience so far and the changes I’ve been through…it’s all emotional stuff. And my appetite! Damn I can eat. I try not to because I don’t want to gain an enormous amount of weight. But I am hungry…all the time! I asked my son how soon he gets hungry after eating a big meal. He said he’s hungry pretty soon after. Now I understaaaand! Now I won’t get upset with him for eating all our groceries the same night we buy them. I’ll probably be up eating with him!

This week has been great! I’m so excited for so many things in the future and hope to be able to share it with all of you! Thanks for reading!

Talk soon!

– Brixton


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